Girls

February 2015

You can't tell by this scan, but this is actually a mail envelope. The magazine was inside of it. I don't think that I've ever had a magazine delivered thusly; perhaps, in plastic, but never as paper. I want to keep it because it is just too cool.

And why wouldn't it be? It's Lena Dunham, and isn't she just it?! Most of the time.

I have not seen Season 3 of Girls yet. I'm not an HBO subscriber, and I usually wait until my cable company does a marathon viewing of the entire season after it has finished airing on HBO. My sister, who has HBO, and I had a few girls-only viewing parties for my entree into the series, but the marathon got me through it.

My sister believes that I am Hannah. Or so much like anyway. Like Carrie of Sex in the City, I imagine many women across America identify with the character. Hannah is certainly more flawed, and though I don't share all of her particular flaws, I am probably more like her than Carrie. Carrie's only struggle, besides which pair of shoes to wear, is which man to be with. Hannah's struggle is more with herself. Men factor in. Friends factor in. Living in NYC factors in. But what really stops her, is Hannah.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about how a girl can be a girl in today's world. This week has seen plenty of ... looking for and questions. The ladies of the red carpet want to end ... the red carpet. They aren't just what they are wearing; they are artists who are working on projects. But isn't the whole reason for being of the carpet to show off? The nail cam may have pushed the envelope, but isn't the red carpet fashion week for the masses? It's their opportunity to see what is going on in fashion. Are men under the same scrutiny? No. But what they are wearing isn't really interesting, is it? Ooooohhhh, he's wearing a navy Armani. What a choice!

Madonna, naturally, is more on the ball with her Rolling Stone Magazine comments about how men are never under the same scrutiny for age as women are in the press, in social media, in general life. No one tells George Clooney that he's too old for anything.

But Hannah has age going for her given current societal measures. But she's still trying to be a girl in a man's world. I read a great quote from Kerry Washington in March's InStyle: "The goal shouldn't be that we get to  a point where race or gender doesn't matter. Race is a really important part of our identity. Being a woman is a big part of who I am. What I want is to live in a world where my gender, race, and ethnicity don't define my trajectory and don't limit me."

I can't speak for race, but I can for gender. Being a woman is a big part of who I am, and I wouldn't want to be treated as if I were a man. But I do want to be treated fair and squarely. I don't think that happens in our society. Measures have been made to make us equal, but they are neuters. Example? 'Ms.' Those two letters just bug the crap out of me. Who made that up? Women? Probably ... in the throws of trying to push through the ERA, they came up with that! I don't blame them. It is the first thought in equality ... take out what the difference between the two to make the same. But it doesn't work like that, does it? I have a boss who uses 'Ms.' for every female, married or single. I think that he thinks that he's being ever so correct. I hate it. What it says to me is that I have to hide. What difference does it make that I'm a 'Miss.' Knowing whether I'm married or not has an impact on how I'm looked at? Yes, it does. Particularly when you are of a certain age like myself. But no one bothers George Clooney? oh, right. He's married now. No one has anything to say about Leonardo DeCaprio. Let's Ms. him. That's why I stick to it. Because this is my life. I realize that there is the distinction for two different states for women makes it an inequality, but I don't mind that so much making something up to cover the tracks. The cover-up is worse. I don't have a problem with the tradition of it.

If we are going to get to all-Madonna, or as Kerry Washington says, a place where I can proclaim, yes, I'm a girl, yet it doesn't have any impact on limits, then we need to understand that we have to let girls be girls. I think that is what Hannah's struggle is. I was so happy to see that in end of Season Two, she goes to Iowa. Adam is great, but she's got miles to go .... and as she feels the crumble of contemporary life on any given day fall around her, she has herself. She has the letter. And it is she who has a choice. Carrie gave up herself when she moved to Paris to live with the Russian. Maybe that's how Hannah knows to go to Iowa. And not having seen Season 3 yet, I'd like to whisper in her ear, "You're doing the right thing." Maybe if we all supported Madonna, Kerry, and Hannah, we'd all be a little more evolved and closer to an equity that is not about sameness, but keeping the differences in tact.