before midnight

Elle May 2013

Years ago, I read a review of "Before Sunset," and was surprised by it. I knew that "Before Sunrise" had been made and was in theaters, but I wasn't really interested. I wasn't a big fan of Ethan Hawke ... I kind of classified it before seeing it as silly.

Well, I was wrong. I decided to give Sunset a shot, so I had to watch Sunrise first. And I was besotted. Having at the time been in a relationship that relied A LOT on talk for a reason not worth mentioning here, but I totally got it. I was so enthralled by the movies that I had my sister sit down with me to watch them ... she didn't care for all of the talking at all. She's more of an action girl, but I loved it.

First, I've been to Europe many times. Some times with more coins in my pocket than others, but for the times when I was broke, what was there to do but walk the cities and talk. I had a consistent traveling companion at the time, my boyfriend for lack of a better description of our relationship, and we could have been these two characters. Plus, my guy didn't live in my city; he lived on the other side of the country, so there was always a very finite feeling to the festivities of the time spent carousing European cities; and later, more distant locales. Because the time was so definite, we had to put all of our living into those weeks that we spent together.

I liked Sunrise, but Sunset more ... probably because I watched with eyes that were more the age of the characters. Sunrise was about the lives of twenty somethings, and anyone out of that age knows that for all of the pain and suffering and drama that those years might entail, out of them, it's a relief. I liked how the conversation picked up even after seven years. With my companion, it didn't matter how many years passed, we could always go right into a natural rhythm of being together. I found that to be true of someone else recently. And though we do not have a relationship anymore, it made me feel like what it was that we had was real because we were able to go right back into what was best about what we were. In Sunset, my favorite scene, of course, is the last when Jesse realizes that he ain't gonna catch that plane home. Oh! the number of times that I've missed a flight because we had just one more conversation left to consider. Although now with the exorbitant ticket change fees, I wonder if that would have made a difference. That $100 or more in some cases is killing romance. But just one more night ...

I will see the new film ... "Before Midnight." It will be sad for me because I won't get the next ten years with my faithful friend ... he has gone on beyond living years. I wonder at what I will miss for each of the coming decades not having him in my life. In the article, the plot is revealed that these two will be in Greece and they meet a writer who has lost the love of her life. The reviewer writes, "as her memory of her husband dims before her undiminished love does, feels as if she's losing him all over again." That line sort of made me wince ... I expect a life time of that ... to some degree. But I imagine that is the same for any grief that we must learn to live with in our lifetimes.

What I like best about these films is that they aren't imaginary. I think that they capture what can be real conversation between two people ... something that I'm always very drawn to. And in the end, like the reviewer says, "marriage isn't for sissies, and neither is love." True that. I've known it for love ... marriage, no. But I'm hopeful that I can find a man that wants to talk to me as much as I do him.