Yiddish Relationship Translation

Oprah Magazine March 2014

Oprah's topic of the month in March must have been relationships as evidenced by the page that I tore out. I zeroed in on this piece, for it's Yiddish ... who doesn't need a little Yiddish in their daily language diet. And there is something that strikes a chord with me for this idea of a 'heuruta' or learning partner: "It's not about finding someone who completes you; it's about finding someone who gives you the opportunity to complete yourself."

I sort of skipped over the 'bashert' or 'bestowed' that also mentioned in this short piece. I'm not so entirely sure about the notion of destined partners. I think that there may be 'circumstanced' partners- ones that given the circumstance of the time, two come together. Or maybe it's 'happened' partners- two happened to be in the same place at the same time and are brought together. I can only really think of one person in my own life that may qualify as a bashert. I'm not so sure about whether we were destined to know each other, but I do know that circumstances were such that we happened to find each each other. We knew each other up and down, all around, and in and out for the good side of 30 years. Sadly, he was not long for this world- his death happened and circumstances are such that I am destined, perhaps, to live out my natural life with his ghost.

But the 'heuruta' or learning partner, I understand. Of course, for this issue of the magazine, I think that they are talking about romantic partners. I find that we are far too shortsighted in considering that the only significant, over the world and be all, relationships are those that involve licensing. Of course, this comes from one who is destined not to have a bashert as it would seem. But I have been irishly lucky in that I have had the fortune to have many that are heuruta. They have not been romantic necessarily, but they have been significant enough that I am the better for having been in the company of a friend who brought out the best in me. I have had friends who have been quietly encouraging and those who have set a really high bar that I work until I can do it. Those reaches have been the most rewarding.

I think that our destined partners are ourselves. We are who we have to truly spend our WHOLE lives with to the end. It is in the heuruta that we connect to others to become what we are destined to be ... as a person.